Tell-Tale Clerk

The rants of a pop culture fiend

Disappearing posts

Sorry if my blogging slows down again. I was excited to start blogging again because of this app for my tablet, but I’ve written two VERY long posts in the last week that were just eaten by the app when I try to post them. Not even saved in drafts or anything, just gone.

Part three of my review for this book (don’t worry, only one more part to go after this).

PART THREE: THE THIRD AGE

I: THE DISASTER AT GLADDEN FIELDS

In this section we hear the story of how Isildur lost the ring of power and how exactly the battle took place. Isildur was traveling northward when he and his men were beset by orcs and forced into battle. Isildur was forced to flee so the enemy would not get hold of the one ring. He was forced to put in the ring, and the last time he was ever seen by men was with a cry of pain as he donned the ring. He then went over the river, and lost the ring in the crossing at which time the orcs guarding the far shore saw and shot him through with arrows. His body fell back into the river and was lost to the current.

This was an interesting little story to read add it has such an effect on the storyline of The Lord of the Rings. So if you’re an LotR fan this story will be of great interest to you. It was brief, and revealed much more of who Isildur was in character.

II: CIRION AND EORL AND THE FRIENDSHIP OF GONDOR AND ROHAN

There is a lot of talk of battles in this chapter. Who fought where, what was taken from who, who lived where… Most of this chapter reads like a historical text on influential battles for land.

Part three of my review for this book (don’t worry, only one more part to go after this).

PART THREE: THE THIRD AGE

I: THE DISASTER AT GLADDEN FIELDS

In this section we hear the story of how Isildur lost the ring of power and how exactly the battle took place. Isildur was traveling northward when he and his men were beset by orcs and forced into battle. Isildur was forced to flee so the enemy would not get hold of the one ring. He was forced to put in the ring, and the last time he was ever seen by men was with a cry of pain as he donned the ring. He then went over the river, and lost the ring in the crossing at which time the orcs guarding the far shore saw and shot him through with arrows. His body fell back into the river and was lost to the current.

This was an interesting little story to read add it has such an effect on the storyline of The Lord of the Rings. So if you’re an LotR fan this story will be of great interest to you. It was brief, and revealed much more of who Isildur was in character.

II: CIRION AND EORL AND THE FRIENDSHIP OF GONDOR AND ROHAN

There is a lot of talk of battles in this chapter. Who fought where, what was taken from who, who lived where… Most of this chapter reads like a historical text on influential battles for land.

Second part of my review of this book.

PART TWO: THE SECOND AGE

I: DESCRIPTION OF THE ISLAND OF NUMENOR

This section was interesting, and I don’t think it went on too long, as Tolkien can sometimes do when he gets excited about his geography. I may have also found this really interesting because I find Numenor interesting because I know so little about it. I think also because Numenor is connected (though distantly) to a character I love.

II: ALDARION AND ERENDIS: The Mariner’s Wife

This story is a bit of a love tragedy. Aldarion is the only son of the king in Numenor, and finds himself in love with the sea. I should reveal at this point that Numenoreans live several hundred years, around 400-500. Aldarion spends the first few hundred years of his life sailing away to Middle Earth, and building ships, and ensuring the timber of Numenor would outlast his ambitions. However, at some point he met Erendis, and also falls for her.

He eventually marries Erendis, but never looses his love for the sea, and finds himself torn between both. Erendis eventually looses patience for his sea faring ways and their love story ends in anger and sadness.

I found this story very interesting for the same reasons that I found the first Numenor bit interesting. These are Aragorn’s ancestors, and I read it almost the way you’d think that Aragorn would. I think of him sitting in his palace in Minas Tirith reading all of this from old scrolls, and bits of old crumbling paper.

III: THE LINE OF ELROS: KINGS OF NUMENOR

This was more of a Tolkien scholar type chapter. It is literally a list of the succession of kings. After each name there is a small paragraph with their birth dates, death dates, and significant details of their rule. It was like reading a textbook chapter.

IV: THE HISTORY OF GALADRIEL AND CELEBORN and of Amroth King of Lorien

This whole chapter sucked. I can’t believe Christopher Tolkien actually published this. It’s such a mess I can’t even summarize it. The editor (Christopher Tolkien) spends the entire chapter telling you how the bits and pieces he’s publishing contradict all of Tolkien’s other works. It literally is bits and pieces interspersed with the editor’s notes. This chapter really is for Tolkien scholars, if you’re reading this book for fun, skip this chapter. Most of it is little notes of his father’s that the editor found that were unedited so they are supremely contradictive, and it doesn’t really tell you too much new.

Second part of my review of this book.

PART TWO: THE SECOND AGE

I: DESCRIPTION OF THE ISLAND OF NUMENOR

This section was interesting, and I don’t think it went on too long, as Tolkien can sometimes do when he gets excited about his geography. I may have also found this really interesting because I find Numenor interesting because I know so little about it. I think also because Numenor is connected (though distantly) to a character I love.

II: ALDARION AND ERENDIS: The Mariner’s Wife

This story is a bit of a love tragedy. Aldarion is the only son of the king in Numenor, and finds himself in love with the sea. I should reveal at this point that Numenoreans live several hundred years, around 400-500. Aldarion spends the first few hundred years of his life sailing away to Middle Earth, and building ships, and ensuring the timber of Numenor would outlast his ambitions. However, at some point he met Erendis, and also falls for her.

He eventually marries Erendis, but never looses his love for the sea, and finds himself torn between both. Erendis eventually looses patience for his sea faring ways and their love story ends in anger and sadness.

I found this story very interesting for the same reasons that I found the first Numenor bit interesting. These are Aragorn’s ancestors, and I read it almost the way you’d think that Aragorn would. I think of him sitting in his palace in Minas Tirith reading all of this from old scrolls, and bits of old crumbling paper.

III: THE LINE OF ELROS: KINGS OF NUMENOR

This was more of a Tolkien scholar type chapter. It is literally a list of the succession of kings. After each name there is a small paragraph with their birth dates, death dates, and significant details of their rule. It was like reading a textbook chapter.

IV: THE HISTORY OF GALADRIEL AND CELEBORN and of Amroth King of Lorien

This whole chapter sucked. I can’t believe Christopher Tolkien actually published this. It’s such a mess I can’t even summarize it. The editor (Christopher Tolkien) spends the entire chapter telling you how the bits and pieces he’s publishing contradict all of Tolkien’s other works. It literally is bits and pieces interspersed with the editor’s notes. This chapter really is for Tolkien scholars, if you’re reading this book for fun, skip this chapter. Most of it is little notes of his father’s that the editor found that were unedited so they are supremely contradictive, and it doesn’t really tell you too much new.


Mitchell: I need to tell you something. I’ve done such things, Annie. I’ve done such terrible…unforgivable things. And I need to tell you.Annie: No, you don’t.Mitchell: I need to do this.Annie: No, you don’t. Mitchell, listen. I know what you are. I’ve known since day one. But all those things you’ve done, they’re in your past, right? It’s who you are now that counts. And…and what you’ve done for me, for George, for all of us…that’s the man I know. That’s the man I trust. And that’s the man I want.Mitchell: Do you forgive me?


Nerdgirl moment of the week!!! Watched this with my hubby last night. I may have actually squeed!!!
My review for Tolkien’s Unfinished Tales will take place in several parts. I’ve decided to review each part within the book separately so I don’t forget much, as I find this book add well as the Silmarillion to be a bit of an information overload.

I have read bits and pieces of the Unfinished Tales before, however I’ve never read the book cover to cover, and with the new Hobbit movie containing bits from the Tales I decided to take the plunge.

PART ONE: THE FIRST AGE

I OF TUOR AND HIS COMING TO GONDOLIN

While I fully realize that this book is bits of Tolkien’s notes cobbled together, at the same time reading this story was extremely frustrating, simply because it us part of a story that was told in part in the Silmarillion. Attempting to jump into the Silmarillion without being a Tolkien scholar is just plain madness. There are a LOT of details and names you are expected to remember out of the blue, unless of course you read the Sil right before reading this book… Which I would never be able to do. I need a break between the heavy Tolkiens. So, all and all I just jumped right into this story powering through the things I didn’t remember, which as most people know, does not make for the most pleasant of reading experiences.

This story is basically about a man who is admitted into the hidden elven city of Gondolin, and how he got there (we all know Tolkien loves his geography).

And what do I get for pushing my way through?

II THE CHILDREN OF HURIN.

AGAIN!?!!!!!???!!??! Haven’t I read this story twice already!? Once in the Sil, and once in its own full length book?

For those of you unaware of Hurin’s poor children, I will tell you a little of the terrible fate of Tolkien’s Oedipus.

Hurin has a child named Turin and then heads off to war, at which point he is captured by Morgoth(basically the devil in Middle Earth), and Morgoth says: ” for giggles I’m going to curse your family and make you watch.” So he sets Hurin upon a mountain, and using magic allows him to see the curse play out on his family.

Long story short Hurin’s wife was pregnant when he went to war, and before her child is born she sends her son to the elves to live in safety. Turin does as mommy says and lives with the elves. His mother has a daughter, and they travel to the land of the elves, but Turin isn’t there anymore. He’s been roaming the countryside screwing all manner of thing up. Sister and mother get separated, and a dragon drives the sister crazy until she forgets EVERYTHING and wanders into a random town. Surprise surprise, it’s Turin’s town. The women teach the sister to speak again, and since she doesn’t remember anything, and Turin has never seen his sister they’re like: “I don’t know why but I love you, let’s get married!” And they do. Sister is pregnant when the dragon that cursed her returns to ravage the countryside, and Turin kills the dragon. When the dragon dies his spell on the sister is removed and she remembers everything. With its dying breath the dragon also revealed that her husband is her brother, and when her memories return she knows it to be true and throws herself from a waterfall. Turin comes to and finds out he was married to his sister and that she killed herself, so he throws himself upon his own sword.

Thus ends the story of the Children of Hurin.

I would really like to know why Tolkien was so fascinated by this particular story, cause I just find it really twisted, not to mention long winded, even for Tolkien.

If I rated the first part I would give it 2 out of 5, mostly because I’ve read enough Children of Hurin stories to last at least four lifetimes now.

My review for Tolkien’s Unfinished Tales will take place in several parts. I’ve decided to review each part within the book separately so I don’t forget much, as I find this book add well as the Silmarillion to be a bit of an information overload.

I have read bits and pieces of the Unfinished Tales before, however I’ve never read the book cover to cover, and with the new Hobbit movie containing bits from the Tales I decided to take the plunge.

PART ONE: THE FIRST AGE

I OF TUOR AND HIS COMING TO GONDOLIN

While I fully realize that this book is bits of Tolkien’s notes cobbled together, at the same time reading this story was extremely frustrating, simply because it us part of a story that was told in part in the Silmarillion. Attempting to jump into the Silmarillion without being a Tolkien scholar is just plain madness. There are a LOT of details and names you are expected to remember out of the blue, unless of course you read the Sil right before reading this book… Which I would never be able to do. I need a break between the heavy Tolkiens. So, all and all I just jumped right into this story powering through the things I didn’t remember, which as most people know, does not make for the most pleasant of reading experiences.

This story is basically about a man who is admitted into the hidden elven city of Gondolin, and how he got there (we all know Tolkien loves his geography).

And what do I get for pushing my way through?

II THE CHILDREN OF HURIN.

AGAIN!?!!!!!???!!??! Haven’t I read this story twice already!? Once in the Sil, and once in its own full length book?

For those of you unaware of Hurin’s poor children, I will tell you a little of the terrible fate of Tolkien’s Oedipus.

Hurin has a child named Turin and then heads off to war, at which point he is captured by Morgoth(basically the devil in Middle Earth), and Morgoth says: ” for giggles I’m going to curse your family and make you watch.” So he sets Hurin upon a mountain, and using magic allows him to see the curse play out on his family.

Long story short Hurin’s wife was pregnant when he went to war, and before her child is born she sends her son to the elves to live in safety. Turin does as mommy says and lives with the elves. His mother has a daughter, and they travel to the land of the elves, but Turin isn’t there anymore. He’s been roaming the countryside screwing all manner of thing up. Sister and mother get separated, and a dragon drives the sister crazy until she forgets EVERYTHING and wanders into a random town. Surprise surprise, it’s Turin’s town. The women teach the sister to speak again, and since she doesn’t remember anything, and Turin has never seen his sister they’re like: “I don’t know why but I love you, let’s get married!” And they do. Sister is pregnant when the dragon that cursed her returns to ravage the countryside, and Turin kills the dragon. When the dragon dies his spell on the sister is removed and she remembers everything. With its dying breath the dragon also revealed that her husband is her brother, and when her memories return she knows it to be true and throws herself from a waterfall. Turin comes to and finds out he was married to his sister and that she killed herself, so he throws himself upon his own sword.

Thus ends the story of the Children of Hurin.

I would really like to know why Tolkien was so fascinated by this particular story, cause I just find it really twisted, not to mention long winded, even for Tolkien.

If I rated the first part I would give it 2 out of 5, mostly because I’ve read enough Children of Hurin stories to last at least four lifetimes now.

Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith

This book was interesting, and not what I expected it to be.

Balthazar is a thief, and has been since he was a child. He grew up in Antioch picking pockets, and eventually garnered the title: The Antioch Ghost, an infamous thief rumoured, among other things, as being ten feet tall. He is caught and brought to King Herod in Jerusalem. Naturally he escapes, being such a great thief, and takes two other prisoners with him. They run south to a small town called Bethlehem, where an unnaturally bright light is shining down, and attempt to take shelter in a stable where they find a young couple and their newborn son. Long story short Balthazar and the two thieves take the couple under their wing and promise to help them escape to Egypt.

The main reason I believe I enjoyed this book is because it’s written very much like a fantasy novel. The handsome, and daring thief, who’s witty and quick on his feet but has a dark past chooses the right path for the first time in his life and is drawn into an epic conflict. It’s a very popular formula for many a fantasy novel or series.

All in all the biblical references were well fit in, and fairly clever (although I don’t know the bible well enough to be picky), and the characters were featured in a well thought out new light. The book did end quite abruptly, but in a sense it’s a tough book to end when everyone knows there’s more story after the last page.

I felt while reading this book that it was written by someone who believes in God, but maybe not necessarily church. All in all I kind of felt that the author was trying to say: although these things happened, they probably didn’t happen the way the church would have you believe. (That being said I do not know the author’s religious affiliations, nor do I know what his intent was with this book, just saying how I felt and what I think. Sorry if it offends anyone, especially the author.)

If you are a Seth Grahame-Smith fan be wary. This is a supernatural book in the sense that God’s miracles happen, and there is a bit of magic, but there are no vampires, zombies (for very long), or other supernatural beings hanging around constantly. I know the cover is a bit deceptive, but the wise men are not vampires or ghouls, just bad men.

In the end it was a good read, bit I’ll never reread it. I’ve been told that people who enjoyed Lamb by Christopher Moore will enjoy this book. I wouldn’t know because I couldn’t even get halfway through Lamb because I found it painfully BORING (although I did REALLY enjoy Sacre Bleu by Moore)! I’d definitely recommend it for readers of fantasy looking for something a little different. If I were to bring stars into the equation, I would probably go three and a half out of five. Good, but not outstanding.

Django Unchained (the d is silent)

I was wary of this movie. Mostly because with Tarantino I’m very hit and miss. Let’s do the list:

Reservoir Dogs: pretended I liked it the first time I saw it because my older sister liked it and agreeing was the cool thing to do. Too much random unnecessary violence for me.

Pulp Fiction: just plain found it boring and didn’t get it.

Natural Born Killers: I found the format very interesting, and it was an insightful glimpse into something quite twisted, but I HATE Juliette Lewis.

Four Rooms: too over the top for me.

From Dusk Till Dawn: Worst. Movie. Ever. Enough said.

Kill Bill 1&2: Please don’t ask me why, but I really enjoyed these movies. Maybe it was the strange transfer of Japanese traditions and values to North American characters, or just the fact that Tarantino’s style really suits the over the top flare of Japanese-style cinema, or maybe just that Lucy Lui is awesome. Whatever it was, I liked it.

Inglourius Basterds: I also really enjoyed this movie. I just thought that it was an interesting idea. Also: so many great actors, no Juliette Lewis here.

I know that’s not all of them, but it’s all the ones I’ve seen.

And now: Django Unchained.

This story is set a couple years before the American Civil War in the south. The movie begins with a very 70’s feeling cowboy-type ballad that plays throughout the opening credits while you watch a line up of slaves trudge through harsh back country, their ankles shackled. Evening falls, theme song ends, and a cart happens upon the group. The man in the cart is a bounty hunter who seeks Django to help him recover a bounty. After freeing Django, the two men ride off together on their adventure.

The bounty hunter discovers that Django was separated from his wife by the owner of the plantation they lived on, and vows to help him find his wife after teaching him to shoot and be a bounty hunter.

That’s pretty much the story.

I did enjoy this movie. Out of five stars I would lean toward four, for several reasons:
1) The humor in the movie very well balanced the violence and tragedy, which I think is very important. (The KKK scene was one of the most memorable moments of comedic relief.)
2)I think it gave a very real portrayal of slavery in the south without holding back. It became very violent in parts, but I think it was a way for Tarantino to say: this is the part where we usually cut away and say ” we know what happens next, it was terrible and violent.” But Tarantino didn’t turn away. He made everyone face this terrible historical fact with no censors.
2)Christof Waltz was amazing. And it was really nice to see him as a good guy for once. Enough said.
3) Surprisingly enough I also really enjoyed Don Johnson in this movie.
4) Who doesn’t love an underdog fighting for true love?
5)I almost forgot to mention the full frontal Jamie Foxx scene didn’t I? You do get to see ALL the bits in a scene where someone is going to chop off his balls, and it was awesome! Do you know why? Cause it was great to sit next to my husband in the theater while the gun hand tightly grips Django’s testicles and holds a red hot knife up to them and my husband is mumbling: ” please not another ball torture scene like in Casino Royale.”

So all in all good movie. See it, unless: you cannot watch violence (cause it’s viciously violent. There is a scene where a slave is ripped apart by dogs.), or you find movies about the slave trade or racial degradation too disturbing (because even the words in this movie have a violence all their own).

Terribly sorry…

So sorry that review of Tangled never arrived… Also that I’ve been absent so long. Alas… Really all the Tangled review had to say was that one again another terrible “prince” figure was introduced that encourages young women that promiscuous lying men can be changed into righteous princes… But I’ll move on…

Since my sweet husband was kind enough to get me this totally badass tablet for Christmas, I’d like to update my blogging habits.

Without further ado… And within in an entirely new post just to be confusing: my newest review!

Forthcoming…

…when I’m not SO tired and bad with words is my review of the new Disney movie Tangled and why it’s teaching young girls a terrible lesson about men…

Tom Sawyer by Rush

I just really don’t get this song…

A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today’s Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride

Though his mind is not for rent
Don’t put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day’s events
The river

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his skies are wide

Today’s Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the space he invades
He gets by on you

No his mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent
He knows changes aren’t permanent
But change is

What you say about his company
Is what you say about society
Catch the witness, catch the wit
Catch the spirit, catch the spit

The world is, the world is
Love and life are deep
Maybe as his eyes are wide

Exit the warrior
Today’s Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day